Mumblings On Israel

this episode of mumblings is brought to you by the realness .. tonight's subject is how israel has affected my life .. well i guess it all goes back to the first time you learn about israel .. i was young .. i can't remember exactly how old but i know that by first grade i was aware that israel had stolen my country .. so that's why i'm sitting in a classroom in the saudi arabian desert .. surrounded by all kinds of nationalities .. and the teacher is talking english .. that's why i go on vacation to jordan .. but what about our country .. the israelis stole it .. and our city .. we didn't live in a city we lived in a tiny village .. is it still there .. no the israelis destroyed it a long time ago .. now it's a big fancy city .. can we go there .. no it's for israelis only .. hmmmm .. and once a palestinian realizes he has no country that stays with him forever .. it's kind of a bittersweet feeling .. you take pride in the resistance your people continue to show .. but you feel sad about the occupation and how brutal it is .. so that was exhibit A you could say.

exhibit B .. my last semester of university .. beirut .. the summer of 2006 .. come july .. everything changed .. the war started .. literally just like that .. overnight .. i mean you went from going to sleep knowing there was some trouble in the south to waking up to hear that the airport has been bombed .. WTF .. crazy .. and we had been through the whole hariri thing so we were used to insanity .. but this was SO much bigger than anything that ever happened in the past four years .. yeah .. most of the international students left .. i stayed .. you couldn't leave the normal way .. there was a seige on the country .. you had to go to an embassy .. you had to be "evacuated" .. you couldn't just leave .. i wasn't in any imminent danger by staying .. definitely i was in danger but it wasn't imminent you know .. like it was HIGHLY unlikely that a bomb would strike my neighborhood .. so it was safe you could say .. fucked up but safe .. make that boring and fucked up but safe ..
so again israel affected my life here .. thanks to israel my graduation got delayed .. yes i think i am one of the few people in the world who can say "israel delayed my graduation" .. i should've printed that on t-shirts and sold them at university .. hmmmmm that would've been a cool business idea hehe .. but hey i'm not mad about it .. about my graduation getting delayed i mean .. i'll gladly do it all over again .. it was all worth it cuz israel lost the war :)
and now on my blog .. we have this new fellow called anonymous .. or as i call him .. zionist ass .. again israel comes to screw with my life .. i've decided to ignore him .. not gonna even bother to reply to any of his comments anymore .. he can keep leaving them to show the world what a filthy zionist ass he is .. or he can go back to the hole he crawled out of .. either way i don't care ..
so anyway .. maybe now you know why i hate israel so much .. and zionists .. cuz they stole my country .. cuz they delayed my graduation .. cuz they think they can come say dumb shit on my blog .. cuz they smell funny .. cuz they get off on being unbearable jackasses ..
the best thing is that i know that palestine will one day be ours again .. i believe it .. nothing can break that belief .. even if i don't live to see it i will die a believer .. so yeah .. or even better .. maybe i will die for my belief .. hmm .. speaking of dying your beliefs .. would you be willing to kill for your beliefs .. can you be willing to die for your belief but not kill for that same belief .. hmm .. pointless questions .. anyway.

on a different note .. let's just forget israel for a while .. fuck israel seriously .. change of subject .. let me just talk about being palestinian .. especially these days .. what the hell happened .. it's changed hasn't it .. i'm not even going to try to blame someone for why it has changed .. that ship has sailed .. no use trying to analyze why it happened .. the point is it happened .. let's deal with it .. but yeah a lot of people are giving up on palestine .. even palestinians .. sure seems that way from the things i read and hear .. now all that shit i said earlier about all the ways israel affected my life .. forget all that it doesn't hurt me one bit .. but the notion that people are giving up on palestine .. now THAT hurts .. when palestine is just reduced to sad news on tv .. something is wrong .. yeah we got brilliant palestinians in the diaspora bla bla but what about palestinians in palestine .. what the hell is happening to them .. did that cross your mind .. yeah you put your little black and white scarf in your car and put a palestinian picture on your blog .. but did you ever stop and try to imagine what guys your age in gaza are doing right now .. wake up .. but back to what i was saying .. how being palestinian has changed .. i remember my first images of palestine as a child were of the atfal il hijara .. you know the kids who used to throw stones in the first intifada .. so those guys were like heroes to me .. and the older guys who actually carried out the operations .. well those guys were like gods .. so that was my perception of palestine as a kid .. my people resisting the occupier .. and it was all so romantic .. so awe inspiring .. kids standing up to tanks .. women fighting with soldiers .. at that age it actually seemed like a good thing we were so brave in fighting back .. i was still unable to grasp just how unfair the situation really was .. conspiracy theories of western and in some cases arab and even palestinian collusion with the occupation still hadn't set in .. then you had the whole peace process .. the palestinian authority was born .. that was another turning point in being a palestinian .. never was a fan of the whole oslo business to be honest .. i hated that they clashed with resistance a lot .. but then the peace process started to sputter .. things didn't go as smooth as planned .. and sure enough another intifada broke out .. is it still "officially" going on by the way .. i don't know was it declared over at any point .. but more importantly .. does it matter .. so yeah the second intifada .. a lot more blood in this one .. a lot more nastiness .. not quite as romantic as the first one .. so the second intifada .. a lot of palestinian blood spilled in that one .. a lot of martyrs .. then hamas came to power .. boom .. definitely another turning point .. now for you as an arab or a palestinian this was either AWESOME news or HORRIBLE news .. depending on whether you liked hamas or not hehe .. and the world decided that this was not the right result .. so they tried to change it .. they tried and tried .. a lot of tricks .. but nothing worked .. and now we have two governments .. has that ever happened in palestinian history before .. i know it's happened in lebanese history .. hehe .. i can't believe palestine is turning into a lebanon .. they have their sects .. and we have our factions .. i always felt that i identified with the lebanese people during my four years in beirut .. and now i know why .. because palestinians and lebanese both have a tendency for civil unrest .. hehe .. so that's where we stand right now .. two governments .. fortunately arabs are pressuring abbas to sit down and talk with hamas .. they gave up on the dahlan option i guess .. hehe hamas earns the respect of the arabs .. yeah they tried to destroy hezbollah last summer and they failed and they tried to destroy hamas this summer and they failed .. so that's life for me as a palestinian .. shit i've never even been to palestine .. the closest i ever got to it was standing on a beach in jordan and seeing a distant land and being told that's palestine .. and i can thank israel for this .. i have to go through this shit so that benjamin moshe fuckhead from poland can come and live in a condo where my village used to stand .. yeah maybe some people will say so what do you want do you want to wipe israel off the map .. you know what .. in an ideal world yes that would be the solution .. but we don't live in an ideal world do we .. of course not because if we did israel wouldn't fucking exist .. so yeah since it's not an ideal world .. you would say fine let's compromise you take this chunk and i'll take this chunk .. but noooo .. israel doesn't want a palestinian nation to exist .. bush's term is almost over and still no palestinian state has been created .. wasn't that one of the things on bush's to-do-list .. fucking bush .. who knows maybe he will appoint a little karzai and tell him to declare the palestinian state on a couple of buildings in ramallah .. israel doesn't want to live side by side with a palestinian state .. the arab league keeps proposing it and israel straight up keeps telling them to go fuck themselves .. so not only did israel come and create a country on someone else's land it won't accept a two-state solution either .. wait wait it gets better .. then they call us terrorists for fighting this injustice .. can you fucking believe the nerve of these people .. oh and did i mention that not only do we not have a palestinian state we don't have a palestinian army either .. israel on the other hand has an army .. an army loaded with the best machines that kill which man has been able to invent so far .. and they call us terrorists .. ok after all i just told you .. would you call me a terrorist if one day you heard that i killed an israeli .. or would you nod your head and understand .. or would you shake your head and pray for peace between the israelis and the palestinians ..
and cue the song "the drama i been through .. is just a ghost that won't get out of my mental"

HuNGeRsTrikE