With the president's January call for a 21,500 troop surge in Iraq, will the military be forced to open its camouflaged arms even wider?
To find out, Radar's Teddy Wayne called recruiting stations around the country disguised as a veritable Breakfast Club of misfit would-be soldiers, all dramatically unqualified or unattractive for service in some way: a flamboyant gay man concerned with the availability of hair pomades in Iraq; a bed-wetting mama's boy who wants to bring his own alarm-rigged plastic sheets; a martial arts freak desperate to unleash throwing stars and nunchakus on Osama; a meth dealer who has "hypothetically" done every drug in the book; a chronic IBS sufferer who subsists mostly on celery; and a lobotomy patient whose side effects include problems with "Decision-Making Ethical Opportunities."
A couple of generations ago, the military would have rejected them faster than you can say quagmire. But despairing recruiters have some serious quotas to meet. And for the promise of a fresh, warm body, it seems they're willing to overlook a few flaws.
The following are transcripts from actual phone calls to military recruiters.
Click here to read them.
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